“. . . putting it in writing”   Nehemiah 10:1

  Always

I never expected it to be so bright. Nor so warm. And so much?
It scares me, but I can cope. I can cope with anything.
Since she left me, anyway.
She always had beautiful eyes. Didn’t like it when she stared at me though. She’s doing it now. Close your eyes, my dear.
Ah yes, that’s better.
She always had a lovely smile. She’s not smiling now.
She looks sad, maybe scared. Yeah, scared. I don’t know why;
I didn’t mean to hurt her.
She always had perfect skin. Unblemished. But not now.
The scars won’t heal.
She always said she loved me. Always. But she left me.
She’s back now. She’s going to stay. Always.
She always loved my hands. So gentle. I was gentle,
but it still hurt - her.
She always said I would, so she left and I did. When she came back. Not to stay, but she will now. Always.
The knife was sharp. Unexpected. I was quick. She will stay.
Always.
You won’t tell anyone, will you? Our little secret. Hey, she killed a part of me, so I killed the whole of her! Fair trade?
The knife is sharp. Expected. I am quick. I will stay.
Always.
I never expected it to be so bright. Nor so warm...
And so much!
Always...

  The Rabbit

Today I saw you lying by the road.
I felt sad that you were there, alone.
Nobody would care that you were dead,
Another victim of the rushing car.
But I gave you a thought as I sped by,
Your ears ruffled in the breeze of my passing.
But you are not alone in your demise.
The modern life leaves many wrecks behind.
Few people stop to think of this.
But I will think of you again tonight.
As I write of you so none forget.

  Anguish

Words unspoken,
A glance,
A brief exchange of thoughts,
Serve only to fuel the fires of desire.
Tears unshed,
Actions incomplete,
Questions without answers,
Serve only to heighten the physical pain.
Let not the two combine
For fear of self destruction.
Powerful indeed are human emotions,
That will perpetuate an inner explosion.
Reach out to the fountains of love,
Not in fear of losing love,
But in fear of never gaining that love.
For, to gain not the fulfilment of your love,
Is to ignite the desires of your heart,
To inflame and then explode.
But wait......Is it too late?
A soul destroyed,
A broken heart,
A tear of despair,
Serve only to magnify the futility of life.
Look to the darkness,
For that is all that is left,
No one to heed your cry of distress.
Let none come near
For they too may be destroyed
By this turmoil of your heart.
Who is to soothe; to mend;
To love this broken shell?
The one may come,
To give that which you desire,
But alas too late.
You fall,
The explosion complete.
Total destruction,
A sad demise,
No one can help,
You have already died;
A soul destroyed,
A broken heart.

  Lost

Why do you seem to be afraid?
Can’t remember when last you were laid?
Maybe it’s time to think again,
And reflect for once, but then...
What use are these lies and deceit
To every girl you ever meet?
One day you see the girl you need,
But my warning you didn’t heed.
You lost her through your fabrications
So what use these lost emotions,
But it shouldn’t make you feel so sad,
It was your fault, so, ha, too bad!

  And How!

Tears fall to the ground
Least said, no sound.
Hearts break, so what?
Makes a difference, not!

Heart of stone? Maybe.
Soft as down, you see.
Broken spirit, true?
Must be; you, too.

Still. For now.
Bitter? And how!
Time to wait.
But what state?

Listen. Laugther.
Ha, just stare!
People do.
It’s not them. It’s You.

  Immortal

One day I’m going to be immortal
by that I mean not dead.
I’ve worked out all the details
but it’s all inside my head.

One day I’m going to be immortal
just you wait and see.
There’s loads of stuff inside my head
but there isn’t room for me.

One day I’m going to be immortal;
I don’t mean coming back.
I’ll be pure energy of time and space,
but I fear it’s pure and black.

One day I’m going to be immortal
the darkness is so near.
I want to be a part of it
but I haven’t lost the fear.

One day I’m going to be immortal
And I’ll see the stars go out.
But my fear takes a hold of me
my being is all about.

One day I’m going to be immortal
When suddenly it’s all gone.
I don’t want to be immortal
Now that I’m the only one.

  Lies

I listen to the CD as it plays our song
And I wonder where it all went wrong.
Did I ask too much of you?
Expecting the love to be so true.
I look at the silent walls
And hear my heart as it calls
For something stronger
That lasts much longer
Before it fades and dies
Beneath the deceit and lies.

But what do I care
That I’ve been there
Beyond the horizon of your lies
Alas too far before love dies.
So far beyond the pain
Maybe I have much to gain
By turning the hurt onto you.
Do you feel the hatred too?

But no I cannot hate
I will not succumb to that state.
My life means so much to me
That’s something you will never see.
You can hide behind the mask
Ha, that’s no mean task,
But I know the real you,
I know what you will do.

Born to destroy all that care
You can’t see what is there
Before your eyes
You only see lies
Until too late
By then you will only hate.